I have been thinking about this post for a long time, and how to put into words how much finishing this marathon means to me. Before I can get to the end I need to take you back 17 years.
17 years ago I was a lanky 13 year old girl enjoying school, dancing and friends. However, that was not what was going on, on the inside. During the fall of my 8th grade school year I spent 3-4 months hospitalized off and on after being diagnosed with severe depression. I still remember when I finally got out and the promise I made to myself. I said that if I could just survive my teenage years I would do everything I could to fix the environmental and biological “crap” that got me in this mess in the first place.
17 years later I couldn’t be happier with how my life has turned around. I have the most amazing husband, who is also my best friend, a great career, a loving extended family, and the wonderful support of my friends. By all accounts I have drastically changed all the environmental influences that caused so much torment in my pre-teen years. The next issue was how to address the biological factor. Now I never thought I could make changes to any predisposition I may have inherited, but I did want to challenge myself psychologically on a whole different level than I ever thought possible. After watching Chris prepare and accomplish his first marathon a little over a year ago, I knew that the final test for me would be to finish my own 26.2 mile journey.
For me the marathon represents the chance to shed off all self-doubt, and fear. By the end of the 26.2 miles you learn to believe that you truly “can do” something and a sense of fearlessness is gained. I imagine shedding that final layer of my past that has stayed with me over the years will leave me feeling raw, and I think that is just what I am looking for.
Again to everyone that has supported me I thank you deeply. My biggest enemy is myself and I look forward to the battle on Sunday morning. See you on the other side of the finish line.
stevih
Chris
Great story! I’ll be running the marathon myself that day. Best of luck to you!
Best of luck John and thank you for your comment!
You will do great! I can’t wait to hear what you think of it! I’m so excited to meet you!!
Can’t believe it’s here already. Best of luck to you and Rob and we are looking forward to meeting you both.
I’ll be thinking of you!! Good luck. Don’t forget to text me. :0)
Wow, sweetie, I had no idea about your youth, what a horrible time that had to have been. And here you are now, someone completely different. On Sunday, you’ll be running for that sad girl but also, to celebrate the joy you are so blessed to have.
As for you being your greatest enemy, maybe at one time, but all I can see is that now, you are your greatest friend. You are the one that has gone from a reader of running blogs to, after Sunday morning, a full-fledged Marathoner. It is you who got yourself out of bed for all those training runs, you who believed in yourself enough to know this was something you could achieve and now look at you. YOU! With that strong girl in hand, the sky’s the limit.
Have an incredible race (which I’ll tell you again via other venues) and Chris, rock the house, man!!!!!! Love you guys. xoxoxo
Just remember to soak it all in along the way and have fun during the ‘battle”. You’ve got this and I hope it brings you the closure you’re seeking. Run happy
Thanks for sharing your story. Good luck in your first marathon!